Radio Silence

There are not really words to properly ease into a post such as this so I think the best thing to do is to explain why I’ve been missing from the online world for the past week.  Last Monday, what was a normal work day, I received the call no one wants to ever receive.  My sister, my best friend, called me to tell me that my sweet little three-month-old nephew passed away at daycare.  He simply went down for a nap and did not wake up.  I am comforted to know that he is in Heaven surrounded by those who went before him, however, as anyone can imagine, it has been the most awful week filled with many tears.

The hubs and I stepped up and helped take care of my sister’s other three children as well as overseeing the rush of visitors, maintaining the home, keeping the fridge stocked, etc.  We are so fortunate that we live close so we were able to help out when otherwise we’d feel helpless.  I can only hope that we made things just a little bit easier as my sister and her husband made arrangements for the funeral services for their son.

I am pretty numb and in shock over this loss.  My sister and I have always been extremely close and since my husband and I moved to the area a little over a year ago, our bond has only grown stronger.  I’ve loved being close by to offer a helping hand with babysitting and just to spend time with the kids doing fun things and letting them get away with stuff a little more than Mommy and Daddy might.  I eagerly anticipated my baby nephew’s arrival and even took care of my sister’s other 3 children while she and her husband were welcoming the little one into the world back in March.  Over the past 3 months I’ve gotten to spend more time with a newborn than I ever have before and I was enjoying being able to see this nephew more often than his brothers and sister while he was so little and new.  I loved talking to him and having him coo and smile at me.  His big eyes melted my heart and I was so excited to see him grow up.  And selfishly, I was excited for our hopeful future baby to have a cousin semi-close in age to play with and be friends with.

My heart aches for my sister, brother-in-law, and their three children.  If there was anything I could do to take this pain away from them, I would.  I just ask that my friends hug their children tight, be grateful for all the blessings in your lives, and keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.

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Joshua
March 2, 2013 – June 10, 2013

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A Day in the Life, My #DayofDiabetes

Wow.  I don’t think I could have picked a worse day for my Twitter #DayofDiabetes.  Typically, my blood sugars behave fairly well.  Sure, I’ll have some ups and downs, but last Wednesday was a day full of all ups and all downs.  There was no stability at all.  I am quite embarrassed that this was the day I chose to share on Twitter, however, it just goes to show that Diabetes really will sometimes do what it wants despite our best efforts.

Overnight leading in to my day, I had a blood sugar of 43.  This is pretty low and even though I usually wake up on my own from my lows, it wasn’t until my Dexcom alarmed that I woke up.  I have no idea how long it was alarming for, but I sure am glad for that little device.

In typical overnight-low-blood-sugar fashion, I treated it with everything that could fit into my mouth (cereal, and more cereal, oh, and why not, some more cereal!).  Why is it so hard to stick to the 15-15-15 rule (Consume 15 grams of carbohydrates, wait 15 minutes, and your BG should come up 15) when you’re low, specifically when these lows are overnight and you also have half-asleep grogginess to contend with?  After I started to recover from my low, I even had the sense to give myself a small bolus because I knew that after eating the entire box a large bowl (or two) of corn flakes, I was bound to go high and honestly, I didn’t want to have to listen to my Dexcom beeping all night.  And I didn’t want to wake up with a high blood sugar in the morning.

In the morning, I learned that my plan failed:

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Decided to wait on eating breakfast (except for coffee.  Gotta have my coffee) and gave myself a bolus to bring my sugar down and cover the sugar-free creamer in my coffee.  As I usually level out by noon with these “over correction” highs, I still packed my gym bag in anticipation that I’d be going to boxing that evening.
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After a couple of hours, my blood sugar still hadn’t come down so I gave myself a mini-bolus of 1.05U to try to get it to come down before lunch.  I always get nervous about stacking my insulin like that but it was being so super stubborn!
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Back to our regularly scheduled programming of working, despite feeling icky from the extended high blood sugar.  A couple of hours later, my sugar had slightly come down.  Time to bolus for lunch!
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Lunch wasn’t exactly the best and I broke my “No Lean Cuisines” goal for this week but sometimes you’re just rushing in the morning and don’t have time to make something.  And dealing with the “low, then high” hangover in the mornings doesn’t exactly make you feel energized and ready to take on the day.  Despite my not so hot Diabetes Day, I still was committed to entering my food into My Fitness Pal.  Yay for persistence?
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I had hoped that after lunch, my blood sugar would come down.  Nope.
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😦 But, with diabetes you must have a sense of humor!
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One of the best things about the Diabetes Online Community is the sense of support you get from people who “get it”.
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Thanks for the support, ladies!  I needed it that day.  Badly.
Finally, after a few hours, my blood sugar came down.  Although not far enough and I made the decision to skip (Sky?) the gym.
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At the suggestion of another twitter friend, I did a 200% basal rate for the remainder of the afternoon.  Finally, when I got home from work it appeared that my blood sugar decided it wanted to play nicely.
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Or maybe not.
crashlandingI had dinner (turkey sausage, steamed squash and zucchini, egg noodles – yum!) and my blood sugar returned to normal.
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For a few minutes, at least.
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Hey, at least I got to eat dessert guilt free, right?  I was happy that evening was the weekly Diabetes Social Media Advocacy Twitter Chat.  I’m so happy that I discovered this weekly chat, and although sometimes it is hard to keep up for this newbie Twitter-er, it’s a great weekly event that I’ve enjoyed tremendously!  That night it was an open chat (usually the administrators ask 5 questions that we all answer) and I enjoyed getting to know some of my DOC friends better.  It also distracted me from my icky day.
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Finally, it was time for bed.  I was exhausted after the many ups and downs of my day of diabetes.  *yawn*
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What a day!
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Things I learned from my Day of Diabetes…

  • Diabetes never behaves how you want it to.  I had hoped that my Day of Diabetes would be one of those perfect days where my post meal spikes were below 180 and I stayed right around 110 all day.  Sadly, that didn’t happen.
  • BUT my day did reflect the frustrations that come with Diabetes.  Every day is different.  You can do the same exact thing 2 days in a row and get different results.  The key with dealing with it is to be patient and remember that tomorrow is a new day.
  • The Diabetes Online Community is great.  The support received from other people with diabetes is immeasurable.
  • Temporary basal rates are our friend.  I tend to always have a knee-jerk reaction to highs and bolus, bolus, bolus when I really need to use temporary basal rates so I don’t have those horrible crash landings.
  • If I always tweeted every Diabetes-related action or thought, I’d probably have zero twitter friends.  🙂
  • Every day is a day of diabetes.  And every day is a chance to learn something new about the disease and yourself.

HOB = Hubs On Board.

The Hubs and I email pretty frequently throughout the day.  On Friday afternoon, I was emailing him about some of the comments I received on my most recent Friday Fives post encouraging me to take a pregnancy test due to my wonky sugars.

Me:  Some of my internet friends are encouraing me to pee on a stick.  You’d die.

Hubs:  No, I would not have a premature death.

Me:  You’d poop your pants.  

Hubs:  I would not lose control of my bowels.

Me:  You’d vomit.

Hubs: I would not have an upset stomach.

So perhaps if I was pregnant, his level of freak out would be minimal.  We aren’t planning on trying for some time, gotta get the A1C in check, so it would be quite a shock.  I really do not think I am as we take proper precautions, I think I just had a really bad couple of diabetes days.

Still, he makes me giggle.  I kinda like him.

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Friday Five, 6/7

  • Running high for the past few days, changed pump site with 50 units of insulin left (HATE wasting insulin!), of course I pick a spot where I sit down and my jeans dig into it.  Site change fail.  At least it’s forcing me to sit up straight.  My mom would be so proud.
  • I picked the worst diabetes day I’ve had in a long time for my #dayofdiabetes on Twitter.  I still can’t figure out how to insert tweets into WordPress to make a pretty blog so I can summarize it.  Help?
  • It’s free donut day at Dunkin!  I was pleasantly surprised when I went to get my friday coffee and have enjoyed half of my chocolate glazed donut and am saving the other half for after lunch.  I really rock at dieting.  (Don’t worry, I’m counting the calories!)
  • Had my fourth overnight low in a row last night.  Very odd as my overnight sugars thus far have been great with my new pump.
  • I don’t understand this.  Is the lotion diabetic?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to be “Skin Relief lotion for diabetics?”
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    I sure hope this lotion gets it’s a1c in check.

    Have a great weekend!!!

The Weight of it All – Week 1.

After a week of watching what I ate, maintaining a reasonable calorie range, making an effort to be more active (4 boxing classes!), I….drumroll please….stayed the same.  Actually, if you want to get technical about it, I gained .2 going from 202.4 to 202.6.  Le sighe.

I don’t really know what happened, mathematically I should be down.  Although I was unable to stick to my 1300 calorie goal on non-exercise days and 1600 calorie goal on days I did workout, I feel that I did pretty well.  I weighed and measured everything and put every morsel of food that went into my mouth in my food journal.  My only real “slip ups” were a beer and Kiddie Meal at the movies, both of which I accounted for in my food journal.  Wah.

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These graphs don’t show last Tuesday when I started this journey, but on that day I consumed 1,695 calories and burned 890 in boxing class. (Have I mentioned how much I love my class?!  Cuz I do.  So happy I found this gym!)

It is not my special lady time, I am not sick, so why did I not lose 8 pounds this week?!  (I’m kidding, I know a reasonable rate is .5-2 pounds/week).  I did have a few low blood sugars which meant extra calories consumed, but I tracked them and they did not totally kill my days.  At one point this week I was down to 201.2, so I thought I was on track to have a nice loss.  Yes, I’m an every day weigher-in-er.  I do realize how much this can mess with your head, as you can see.

I am trying to keep my frustration at bay and just keep pushing forward.  Back in the day when I was on Weight Watchers, I remember how sometimes it would seem like my body was a week behind.  If I had a great week, I would stay the same, then follow that great week with a not-so-great week, and I’d lose.  Seemed my body would be on a delay.  So hopefully next week I’ll see some downward movement on the scale reflecting this past week’s hard work.

Goals for this week:

  • Keep the carbs to a minimum.
  • Eat more fruits and veggies, especially as snacks.
  • NO Lean Cuisines (I am way too dependent on these things).
  • Get to at least 3 boxing classes.

If anyone would like to follow me on My Fitness Pal, shoot me an email @ a1conceive@gmail.com and I’ll give you my user name.  I am always open to suggestions about my menu and food choices.

Here’s to a good week and remembering to be patient with myself!

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Sensor conundrum.

Today marks the two week birthday of my current sensor.  *throws confetti*  This frugal diabetic is psyched that I am getting extra life out of this sensor.  I am wearing it on my right thigh, in a location I’ve never even used as a pump infusion site.  I must say, I really like this area of real estate and anticipate my next sensor to be on my left thigh.  Sometimes I forget about it when I’m pulling down my pants for the 9,000 daily trips to the ladies room, but the not painful snag of my pants on the sensor reminds me.  Other than that…absolutely no major issues with this site.  Sensor is accurate, it’s comfortable, I dig it.  Yay!

As much as I love this spot, I have a conundrum.  I feel that the tape is peeling a bit more on my thigh than sites on my belly (Likely due to additional rubbing of clothing, I’m guessing), and my patchwork job to reinforce the tape is not very attractive.  I started the sensor with my donut-hole OpSite Flexifix and have been patching up the corners with squares of IV 3000 as needed.  However, despite this, the sensor is still working and working well.  Fellow CGM-ers…what do you do?  Replace the sensor when the tape gets nasty or keep reinforcing until the sensor finally poops out?

My current plan is to keep the sensor alive as long as possible.  Since Diabetes ain’t cheap to treat, and each sensor costs about $20, I think I can put my vanity aside for a little while in order to save a few bucks.  I suppose starring in that Nair commercial will just have to wait.