You can watch TV if you get bored.

So.  I guess I can go ahead and say that the husband and I are officially “trying” for a baby.  Being that I’m neurotic and can’t just see what happens, I’ve jumped into the deep end of the pool in this whole “making a baby” thing.  Dr. Google is my new best friend.

Stuff I’ve learned:

  • A “healthy” couple under the age of 35 usually gets pregnant within 5 months, but it can take up to a year.  So after a year, one should have a chit-chat with her doctor.  Am I considered healthy with this D thing?  When do I go crying to my lady doctor?
  • On any given cycle, there is a 20% chance of getting pregnant.  I graduated with my M.A. summa cum laude.  I can’t deal with this 20% success rate.  Overachiever.
  • Apparently having sex a lot ups your chances.  Duh.  But some women on a baby board that I may or may not post on are getting it on like 2 or 3 times/day.  Ummmm, I’m walking funny just thinking about it.
  • I get to track even more numbers!  I’ve started taking my basal temperature every morning so I can see some patterns with my cycle, figure out when I ovulate, all that fun stuff.  More stuff to keep track of.  Thank goodness for iPhone apps.
  • I can’t find any scientific information on the interwebs about blood sugars and ovulation, implantation, etc.  This annoys me to no end.
  • When you start trying, pregnant women are like squirrels.  They are everywhere.

The husband is a good sport with my neurotic self.  He’s learned some stuff too about the female body – interesting stuff and some gross stuff too.  But he’s super excited and I know he’ll be a great dad.

And luckily, we haven’t gotten to this point…yet…

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August Blog Carnival…

Diabetes is a condition that affects more than just our bodies, it influences our emotions as well.  It can sometimes feel harder to cope with the emotional aspects of diabetes then the physical demands.  With that in mind, we revisit the “Diabetes and Mental Health”  chat from July 24th and ask:

What can a parent of a child with diabetes, or a person with diabetes, do to help reduce the emotional impact of caring for diabetes?

Oh, diabetes.  You impact my emotions on a daily basis.  On any given day you may make me feel:

  • Frustration.  But I bolused correctly…why is my BG skyrocketing?
  • Anger.  I’m going to have to do this crap for the rest of my life?  Really?
  • Disappointment.  I really wanted to work out today but my BG isn’t behaving.  Or, I just worked out and my BG has dropped causing me to consume calories making me feel like my workout was a waste of time.
  • Fear.  Will I go low overnight and not feel it?
  • Tired.  I am sick of dealing with insurance companies, BG checks, so many doctor’s appointments.  I just want to be normal.
  • Empowered.  My BG has been perfect all day.  I can do this!
  • Strong.  If I can handle diabetes, I can handle anything.

For me, in order to reduce the emotional impact of diabetes, I try to focus on my last bullet point – strength.  Diabetes sucks.  BUT, it’s not going away.  When I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed by all the disease entails emotionally, financially, and physically, I try to remind myself that I have a choice.  I can choose to be miserable and feel sorry for myself or I can choose to accept that this is my reality and I need to deal with it and keep moving forward.  Sure, the pity party sometimes wins out.  I am human, after all.  But choosing to be happy and accept this leads to many more positive days than negative.

My advice for those Type 3s in our lives – focus on the positive.  Remind your PWD how awesome they are and how proud of them you are.  Diabetes isn’t easy.  It feels good to get that pat on the back or high-five and a “you’re doing a great job”.  Don’t harp on us when we’re having a tough day or our BG is being naughty.  Let us throw our tantrum and know that tomorrow will be better and that we are doing our very best.

 

Happy Monday!

Usually I curse Mondays.  I mean, really, weekends should be five days, work weeks two.  AmIright?

The husband has been out-of-town on a men’s fishing trip, and it’s kind of a running joke with us that whenever he’s out-of-town, I always get overnight lows (which is kind of scary, but we won’t go there) and I don’t really miss him until the lows start kicking in.  Of course they have the past three nights every night since he’s been away.  Duh.  I’ve been over-treating and then spending the following morning chasing down elevated BGs.

Until last night.  I OWNED my overnight low.  I was 60 on my meter, 53 on my Dexcom.  Drank 6 oz of OJ, spoonful of PB and woke up to a nice steady-ish line this morning.  Definitely perked me up for a Monday!

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I also have changed my high alert from 170 to 160.  Hopefully I don’t annoy my coworkers too much with the awesome tunes the Dexcom plays.  I really wish the high alerts were in increments of 5 so I could take even smaller “baby” steps (pun intended) towards better control.  Endo appointment is on Wednesday – my first a1c since I’ve rejoined the land of pumping and started on a CGM!  I’m excited and crossing everything that I’m 7.0 or lower!!!

Friday Fives: August 9, 2013

Five things that (irrationally?) worry me about a future pregnancy with Type 1

1.  What the heck am I going to drink?  This makes me sound like a lush, ha.  Seriously, though.  My CDE said I can have 2 artificial sweeteners per day.  I use Stevia, which, according to my reliable resources on the interwebs, is safe during pregnancy.  Awesome.  I can have brewed Iced Tea sweetened with Stevia (right?).  Of course I don’t want my future baby born with 3 eyes or anything, so I will do my very best to eliminate/strictly limit all artificial sweeteners and caffeine.  *gasp*.  Bye bye coffee.  Hello….water?  Milk?  What else is there?  Should I ween myself now?  I have no problems with giving up wine and beer (although, nachos just don’t taste the same with water!), but I fear that giving up coffee will make me a nightmare to live with.  It’s going to be a long 40 weeks!  Sorry in advance for the crankiness, husband.  ♥ you.

2.  Is my job going to hate me with the 900 million doctors appointments I will have?  My Endo’s and future OBgyn’s offices are a good 30-40 minutes away and as far as I know, do not offer evening appointments.  However, I’m not willing to change because I love my endocrinologist and her team and I especially love my CDE.  Luckily my CDE is very responsive via email so I am hoping that maybe, possibly, she will continue to help me adjust my rates and answer my questions via email when I am pregnant.  Taking a lot of time from work to go to the doctor is something I already feel self-conscious of.  I really am nervous that my coworkers will be frustrated when the time comes and I have so many more doctor’s appointments.  However, I think that my direct supervisors will be more than understanding, as one of them recently herself had a high risk pregnancy.  But still, I don’t want people to think I’m a slacker.

3.  Working, period.  Diabetes is a full-time job.  My job is a full-time job.  Being pregnant will be a full-time job.  I’m tired.

4.  Keeping the secret.  The hubs and I have agreed that we don’t want to tell anyone until I’m 12-16 weeks along, however this may prove difficult.  I imagine I will tell my sister sooner since she lives close by and I see her frequently.  And I was the first to know (after her husband, of course!) with all of her pregnancies.  (Neener, neener Mom! Haha!)  But there are going to be challenges, depending on when we conceive.  It could be a non-issue, in that we wouldn’t see our parents for the first 12 to 16 weeks due to schedules, when holidays fall, etc.  Or there could be lots of time spent with parents in which I’ll have to lie my tender boobies off.  It is pretty important to me that we don’t tell anyone until after the first trimester so we will just have to do our best.  I’m looking forward to having a little secret with the husband.  ♥

5.  Guilt.  I’ve read about this on so many different blogs of D-mommies/mommies-to-be.  The guilt they feel when their BGs aren’t in range.  I really want to enjoy my future pregnancy and be as laid back as a pregnant PWD can be, but knowing myself and how much I already love our future baby, I just have a feeling I will be super hard on myself if I am out of range.  I hope I can find a good balance.

6. Judgement from others.  (OK, it’s friday fives plus a bonus!).  I’ve never been pregnant.  I am scared, nervous, excited for that day when I see two lines on the pee stick.  I have no idea what it will be like, how it will feel to hear my baby’s heartbeat for the first time, to feel the flutter of movement, etc.  I am researching pregnancy with type 1 as much as I possibly can in an effort to educate myself so I can kind of know what to expect.  I know that it’s going to be hard.  I know I’ll have to make sacrifices (see #1).  I know that there’s a decent chance I’ll have to have a Cesarean section.  I just worry that people will judge me based on their experiences and what they think is right.  I know my husband will have my back and I will just remind the judgey McJudgersons that although they may have been pregnant, they’ve never been pregnant with type 1 and I’m doing the best that I can for my unborn child.  And if all else fails, I’ll break out some kickboxing moves and show them who’s boss.

I am thinking about this stuff more and more lately as the day when we start “trying” doesn’t seem as far off as it did a few months ago.  I am so inspired by the type 1 women who have had successful pregnancies and know that my pre-worrying is a bit on the cuckoo side.  But I also know it’s normal as we PWD can’t just throw caution to the wind and have to actually really plan and work hard for our pregnancies.  In the end when I hold that little life, it’ll all be worth it.

Giving diabetes the Stink Eye

I’m annoyed with diabetes today.  Usually I try to let the day-to-day annoyances of the managing the D roll off my back and not get me down.  I try to have an attitude of “it is what it is, deal with it and move on”.  I think if I dwelled on how huge a pain in the ass Diabetes really is, I’d probably be pretty miserable to be around.  Pity party of one.  That being said, I am human and of course I have my days where I just want to throw my hands up and scream at the top of my lungs “This crap really, really sucks!”.

It started last night.  The husband and I were going to have some, ahem, fun-adult-married-couple-time together.  Before going to our chamber of love, I glanced at my Dexcom and saw 92 with a single down arrow.  So I downed half a glass of juice to prevent a low.  Of course, this didn’t work.  A little while later at quite an inopportune time, my Dexcom started yelling at me that I was low.  I felt OK so I ignored it.  A few minutes later the low started to hit me so I had to tell the husband we had to hit the pause button so I could test.  53.  Yay.  More juice for me.  We waited and pillow talked and I didn’t feel like I was coming up so after a bit the plug was pulled on our fun adult time.  The mood was pretty much killed then anyway.  Thanks diabetes, for the unexpected and unwanted threesome.  Grrrr.

Of course after this longer than usual low episode, I over-corrected so my Dexcom was yelling at me all night for being high.  So in my half asleep-ness, I bolused and set up a temp basal and, you guessed it, woke up low this morning.  Needless to say, I was especially slow getting moving this monday morning.

I am also having one of those days where the presence of my gizmos and gadgets is annoying me.

So yeah, I’m cranky pants.  I wish we could just take a day off from diabetes.  I know tomorrow will be a better day, but for today, you get the stink eye from me, D.

Not my dog. Kinda wish he was though.  Image from the google.

Not my dog. Kinda wish he was though.
Image from the google.